


Sinful Obsessions

by Taste_of_Suburbia



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Aftermath of Hell, Alcoholics Anonymous, Angry Ruby, Angst, Angst Bela Talbot, Angst Ruby, Bipolar Bela Talbot, Demon/Human Relationships, Drabbles, Exhaustion, F/F, Flashbacks, Frustration, Grave, Guilty Bela Talbot, Hallucinations, Horror, Hurt Bela Talbot, Hurt Ruby, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Obsessive Ruby, Panic Attack, Possessive Ruby, Protective Bela Talbot, Protective Ruby, Romance, Traumatized Bela Talbot, club, diner
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-10-01
Updated: 2012-10-04
Packaged: 2017-11-15 11:00:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 7,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/526564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taste_of_Suburbia/pseuds/Taste_of_Suburbia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bela is out, of hell that is. And someone's there to meet her, the one she's had a major crush on. And Ruby, worried to death about her, finally able to confront past obsessions. And where they'll go… no one will be able to guess.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Celebrate

**Author's Note:**

> Set Season 3. I love these two. I've been experimenting with Supernatural slash lately, and have always wanted to write lesbian slash for this fandom. I wrote a Ruby/Bela fic recently, which I have yet to continue, and I'm shocked to say that I fell in love with them. There's no denying that they're beautiful together, and I think they're perfect for each other in a twisted and complex sort of way. Take note that this is the Ruby in the third season. So here they are, some drabbles for the amazing Ruby and Bela, enjoy!

Title: Celebrate  
POV: Bela’s   
Song: “Purify” ~ Lacuna Coil 

 

_I’m out… I’m alive…_

Bela’s faded hazels float open slowly in the bright sunlight of the July afternoon. 

She is far too weary to brush off the dirt from her torn jeans, like she normally would. 

The young woman cannot even bring herself to turn around, stare at the grave she just crawled out of. 

_Breath screaming… Body aching… If this is hell take me back to the bloodshed… Please._

Bela pains herself to force her mind blank, she can’t think these thoughts now. 

There’s no time. 

She is paranoid, then again, she has always been paranoid, fearing the demons will come back to claim her. 

_I made it out… There’s no way… I can’t…_

She can’t cease her small shivers, the tremor assaulting her body as the foreign sun beats down upon her. 

Her eyes focus back down at the dirt. 

It’s something she never wants to see again.

Bela is surprised she is standing at this point, as dead as she feels. 

And then… in the distance…

_I’m really here… Not alone anymore..._

Clouds overtake the sun, the sky making her life into a further hell by pouring freezing rain down upon her fragile form. 

She stands there, not even having the strength to wrap her skinny arms around her body, to attempt the futile process of warming herself. 

_Maybe I should crawl back in my grave… Pour the dirt back over myself… It’s where I belong… Isn’t it?_

Ruby’s there suddenly, the figure that was distanced and blurry now revealed. 

They stare at each other for numerous minutes, Bela trying to let the relief surround her, Ruby trying to do the same. 

And then, rain dripping down her hair and onto her numb face, Bela feels the demon’s arms wrap around her, warming her. 

She is home.


	2. Biggest Fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Biggest Fear  
> POV: Ruby’s   
> Song: “Rollercoaster” ~ The Gathering

_I hold her… As if she were mine… As if she will be taken away from me in the next second…_

_But I won’t let it happen again._

Before Ruby can think for another moment, she slips her favorite burgundy leather jacket off and wraps it around Bela’s shoulders.

There’s a pause, a wish to bring the broken human back to reality by looking into her eyes. 

Getting her to realize she’s really there, that she waited this long. 

But things are moving too fast, she wants Bela to recover slowly, the last thing being to startle her, force her out of the pit she seconds before retreated from. 

Ruby grabs her tightly and hugs her again, not caring if she can breathe or not. 

Bela is even more beautiful than she has remembered, her long soft brunette hair getting into her face and allowing her to breathe the scent of the human in more properly. 

She is covered in dirt and smells like decay, blood, tears, but it’s still appealing because it is mixed with the scent of her. 

_Soft perfume… torn leather… champagne…_

_Oh, how I love her._

Then there’s a swirl of memories crashing into her, of how gorgeous she looked the night she was with the eldest Winchester, her hair pulled back and dangling in front of her face, her confidence, the way her body moved, her dress showing off every perfect feature. 

And suddenly, the demon wanted her. 

Wanted to claim her, to touch her, to look into those stunning hazels and just give in to everything. 

Then Ruby thinks of losing her again, of not being able to stop her descent into hell. 

As Bela tries to push away from her, she holds on with all her might. 

Bela is in her grip now.


	3. You Slow it Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: You Slow it Down  
> POV: Ruby’s   
> Song: “Look After You” ~ The Fray

Hours later, as they’re recovering and gathering back their warmth in the nicest motel room she could find, Ruby holds Bela in her arms on the bed, silent and in a daze. 

Patiently waiting for Bela to make her way back to reality is getting mildly annoying, but it’s also giving the demon a chance to show her just how much she means in her fucked up life. 

How much she really means to her fucked up self. 

Planting another gentle kiss on Bela’s forehead, she pulls the human closer, looking down into her eyes briefly to confirm she’s awake. 

Bela has recently ceased her shivering, now giving into her needs and holding onto any part of Ruby she can reach. 

Her head is resting on Ruby’s stomach, wet hair soaking through her shirt but the other woman doesn’t seem to mind. 

If it’ll help Bela warm up, it’s a small price to pay. 

With her free hand, she pushes back her blonde hair, staring out the window as if expecting to see someone there. 

She wishes she had closed the blinds, but it’s too late now. 

Bela is settled and comfy and close to her. 

All she’ll ever need. 

“You know, thinking’s overrated.”

Bela glances up at her slowly, green eyes innocent and slightly scared. 

“Talking’s much more suitable," Ruby continues, staring back out the window. 

She’s giving Bela an opportunity, that’s all. 

No pressure, no push, no breaking apart anytime soon. 

“How long?” Bela whispers, licking her pale pink lips. 

“For what?”

“Were you planning on waiting?”

The demon turns back to her, “Probably forever.”

Bela nods and drifts off as if it’s no big deal, but Ruby knows those two words mean everything to her. 

Ruby’s rapid heartbeat slows down. 

She melts into Bela’s sleeping form instantly.


	4. Darker than Light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Darker than Light  
> POV: Bela’s   
> Song: “All of this Past” ~ Sarah Bettens

Some days she remembers it, what she gave up, who she gave it up to, what she gave it up for. 

_My soul, my lovely soul._

And maybe if Ruby had been around back then, she would have given it a second thought. 

But a girl her age shouldn’t have had to go through what she did, the agony, the pain, all the tears she nearly killed herself trying to suppress. 

And finally, riffling through a book of dark magic, finding the antidote to the poison running thick through her veins. 

Didn’t she deserve to be saved?

Because if she didn’t save herself, who would?

Ruby knows and this scares her terribly, makes her want to curl up in a ball and cry. 

Because there’s always the chance the demon can use it against her, even though she knows Ruby won’t. 

She wouldn’t hurt her like that. 

Bela breathes deeply, her mind spinning around in circles, her past coming back to haunt her like it always does on nights like these. 

Ruby is asleep beside her, or pretending to be, she isn’t too sure whether demons sleep. 

Bela stares out the window, rocking back and forth as she once did on the swing set all those years ago. 

The day she heard it could all go away, her parents, her worries, her screams for release. 

It was never the money. 

“Bela!”

_Ruby? No, it can’t be…_

A hand on her shoulder and she’s back to reality, a less tragic alternative. 

Ruby looks at her, just looks, and Bela wonders what she thinks of. 

_What she thinks of me._

But around Ruby it’s impossible to tell, actions speak louder than words in her world. 

“Lilith?”

Bela feels herself nod.

“She didn’t deserve your soul.”

The human hears the unspoken, ‘I do’.


	5. Nightmare Tape Loop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Nightmare Tape Loop  
> POV: Bela’s  
> Song: “Narcolepsy” ~ Third Eye Blind

Bela can’t take any of Ruby right now, looking at her, laying her fingers on her like the previous few hours, to confirm that she’s real, is way too much. 

She wants to run away, wants it so desperately but the demon won’t let her out of her sight. 

Even after her shower, she retreated to find her in her face, as if it was the most normal thing. 

Bela let it slide, she had seen the fear in Ruby’s eyes and didn’t want to blow up at her for being concerned.

But now… this… Ruby’s hands on her… on every part of her…

It’s just too much, everything is hitting her all at once and she can’t even breathe. 

_I’m going to have a panic attack._

Bela breathes hard, pushing away from her captor, yelling at her that she needs space, time to figure all of this out. 

_Ruby doesn’t get it… I’m not sure if I get myself either…_

She’s rambling now, random thoughts and fears in her head dizzying her, making her see a dozen Ruby’s when she knows there’s really only one. 

The human doesn’t understand why she wants her gone, just that she does. 

_The urge is so strong… unbearable… lifelike… it’s become a part of me now._

She tries to grab the wall as she begins to slide down, as if that’ll do any good. 

Bela doesn’t know what’s going on, wants Ruby to stay away but doesn’t want to. 

“I don’t want you here," she mumbles then screams, "please just go away!”

Despite her dizzying vision she still see two blue orbs, Ruby’s, her beautiful eyes gazing into her own. 

Bela grounds herself with those eyes, and Ruby lays off her for the rest of the night. 

She knows how lucky she is.


	6. Taking You All the Way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Taking You All the Way  
> POV: Ruby’s   
> Song: “Back Home” ~ Cold

“How long’s it gonna take, Bela?”

The human’s eyes plead her to leave her be, to give her more time than she’s already been given. 

_But no…_

It’s been the fourth night in this flea infested motel, and as far as she’s concerned they’ve gotten nowhere. 

_At all._

Bela doesn’t trust her, only enough that she remains, probably too scared to do much else. 

_I have been patient… very fucking patient… but I can’t watch her in this state._

It turns her heart into a puddle of freezing water, puts unwelcome thoughts in her head that Bela is broken, will never go back to the way she was before. 

_Now that she’s seen hell, things will never be the same…_

But Ruby, she’s lived in hell for how long?

And she wants to connect with Bela, reach out to her because they’ve shared the same pain, both lost their humanity. 

Even if she didn’t want Bela to lose hers. 

“I’m serious. How long am I gonna have to wait for you to pull yourself together and stop thinking the knives under my mattress are for you?”

Bela gulps and starts to walk away, Ruby places a hand on her neck and turns her head to look into her eyes. 

“I’ve waited for you for this long. Don’t you think it’s time you cut me a little slack?”

The human looks outside the window nervously, leading to Ruby grabbing her attention once more. 

“They’re not out there, Bela. You’ve got to trust me on that.”

_Please just trust me…_

“If they were out there, I’d already have their asses on a silver platter. Served to you, dead and with a side of ketchup.”

Her twisted humor seems to calm Bela down an inch. 

Ruby smiles even though it’s not nearly enough.


	7. Borrowed & Hollowed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Borrowed & Hollowed  
> POV: Ruby’s  
> Song: Swallowed ~ Bush

Ruby gazes upon the grainy picture stitched into her mind, from the contorted recesses of her mind, the one with the man she barely remembers. 

But so much misses. 

They’re bundled up in ratty blankets, hers a faded red and his a blue, sipping ale and grinning stupidly at this guy who offered to draw a picture of the two, a brief snapshot of their stupid but relatively happy life in England. 

A picture that she later burned in a fire as a means of letting go. 

She kinda regrets that decision now. 

This was back when she knew so little, was so unbelievably naïve she’s embarrassed by it now. 

Those days were good ones though, she wouldn’t have traded them for anything. 

_So much blood… and the guy didn’t even stop… just rode on… leaving me out in the snow… witness… sufferer of the greatest loss… why me?_

She considered a set-up, the demon would have done anything to gain her soul.

Ruby stopped thinking that long ago. 

Anyway, three months after that unfortunate incident, that damn plague came around and knowing she would die from either that or her totally unfair loss, she took matters into her own hands. 

Yeah, she made a deal. 

Who are you to judge?

Selling her soul really didn’t require much thought. 

That last year she had was the worst of her life, living alone, watching everyone around her die. 

She didn’t bring him back because he would have been killed instantly. 

So she forced herself to live, knowing it’s what he would want. 

And Ruby wanted to suffer anyway, wanted to feel the pain and the torment. 

Now she looks at Bela, a younger, more beautiful, her. 

Wanting to give her everything, love her with her all, she makes every moment count.


	8. Consider the Tears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Consider the Tears  
> POV: Bela’s  
> Song: I Remain ~ Paradise Lost

_I am strong… can make it through this even in the darkest days._

She is Bela Talbot, the fierce and unstoppable thief, a force to be reckoned with. 

And even when she can’t make it through on her own, she’s got Ruby, the girl who’s waited for her, who will never forsake her love. 

Sometimes it just doesn’t seem like enough, even if half the time Bela says she doesn’t deserve quite possibly the only genuinely sweet demon out there. 

_Sweeter than cherry pie._

Does Ruby even want her as much as she claims? Or is it all a lie, an end goal that Bela is remarkably blind to. 

They’re both smart, clever women, con artists in fact, and maybe that’s why the human can’t help but think that Ruby’s got her whole betrayal set out on a silver platter hidden from her sight. 

These thoughts in her head suffocate, strangle, make her scream in inner rage in the cheap motel bathroom, paint peeling off the stained walls, clutching the sink to prevent herself from falling. 

Ruby’s gone, she has to put up with enough as it is, doesn’t need to deal with her so called ‘girlfriend’ when she’s in this state. 

The next time’s different though. When Ruby comes back late that night, the human retreats out of the bathroom and brushes herself off, clears her throat to catch the demon’s attention. She’s pleased that at least her cerulean blues find her rather quickly, although Ruby seems to be a world away, eyes vacant and not at all curious like they ought to be. 

“I’m leaving.”

Bela readies herself as soon as Ruby flinches. 

A demon, flinching. 

“It’s not you. It’s me.”

And then she’s off into the night, not sure whether she believes those words wholeheartedly or not.


	9. Trampled Dead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Trampled Dead  
> POV: Bela’s   
> Song: Go Away ~ Cold

She doesn’t know where she’s going but the traffic all around her is deafening and fierce, moments away from slamming her into the sidewalk or a nearby tree as she stumbles towards the light up ahead. 

Bela can’t take the shadows anymore, even being around Ruby, a definite improvement over the demented shadows of hell, is tormenting her soul and taunting her humanity to return back to the pit from whence she came. 

A horn honks somewhere nearby, her feet ache and are most likely bloody from walking in high heeled shoes for countless hours. 

_If Ruby could see me now… she’d definitely kick my ass._

Bela chuckles a little at this thought, thinks not for the first time about turning back, she does have that choice, though she already knows her response long before it forms again in her mind. 

She wanders into a club, music lulling her away from the not so distant past that was previously beckoning her, her body somewhat forced to sway drunkenly amongst the gathering crowd. Bela doesn’t know where she is, doesn’t care because why does it really matter? She’s blessedly away from Ruby for the present moment and that’s all the peace of mind she needs, just a night away… maybe even a month. 

_Certainly couldn’t hurt._

Wondering if hanging around people will more firmly place her into the reality she once fit so comfortably into, she saunters, emerged in a sort of dreamlike haze, towards the bar, situating herself on a stool and catching the eye of a man that might have once been her type. Now she’s practically all eyes for Ruby, the demon she just can’t quite seem to figure out yet loves with such adoration. 

Her hand extends confidently, “I’m Grace.”

“Just what do you think you’re doing?”


	10. The Death of Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: The Death of Me  
> POV: Bela’s & Ruby’s  
> Song: Stitches ~ Orgy  
> A/N: The panic/bucket of water sentence is a reference to my favorite movie Reservoir Dogs. This one’s about fifty words longer than the others, totaling to 350 just because there are two povs. Oh, and hope you’re enjoying this, can’t believe it’s #10 already.

“You know what, Bela? I’ve had it.”

Bela stands still after she slides off her bar stool all too ungracefully, despite her new name. Panic hits her like a bucket of water, right in the face and cold enough to cause her eyes to go unnaturally wide within their sockets, for her to shiver and think of an upcoming day that she has just created by her actions this night. 

A day without the possibility of having Ruby there. Not knowing where she is, if she’ll ever be back. 

Because if Ruby just so happens not to kill her, she _will_ abandon her. 

And the worst part? Bela deserves the punishment. 

The regret is strong within her gut, threatening to overtake her with a display of her utter and reckless stupidity, of the damage she has caused Ruby, the carelessness of which she has handled their relationship. 

Hooking up with a guy? What was she thinking? 

_Ruby, wait…_

 

Ruby’s eyes can’t even look into her girlfriend’s, the flawless human she has loved for months. Yet she is not flawless, she has been caught in the act and Ruby hates her, doesn’t think she’ll ever be able to forgive her. 

“I didn’t have to stay, Bels. But I did," her tone is forceful, unrelenting, heartbreaking to Bela’s ears, “that’s what counts.”

The demon walks out of the now silent bar, hands clenching, eyes flashing black and she cares less if someone sees. 

Maybe she should have left Bela, should have known better than to get involved with her after their separation. Bela is a mere, predictable human, unable to see past her own pain, her own _selfishness,_ to notice Ruby right there and recognize her own grief and apology. 

_Bela, I’m so fucking sorry this happened to you but you’ve got to pull yourself together before you drag me down with you._

Now she has, she has ruined the demon and Ruby can’t comprehend why, how Bela could be so blind, how the pit could have turned her into this passive being that she loathes. 

She’s fucking pissed. 

_Done hiding it…_


	11. Isn't Enough Breath to Breathe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Isn’t Enough Breath to Breathe  
> POV: Bela’s  
> Song: God Damn Me ~ Filter  
> A/N: Little bit of a longer chapter at 330 words, just cause I felt like it.

Bela rushes through the crowd, nearly trips over something on the charcoal tile floor but catches herself because she wants to be out of this room, this horrid place more than anything. 

She has no idea how she’ll make it up to Ruby but she will. She just has to, it’s the only coherent thought in her head at this point. 

“Rubes!”

The music in the club is getting louder, turning deafening, she wants to shoot the person controlling it in the head and just be on her way. It only makes her get out of there faster, with one clear purpose in mind, apologizing to someone she truly cares about, even if it might not seem like it for all the wrong she’s caused. 

_Please, Rubes. Don’t leave, not yet._

_Though I know I deserve it. I realize that._

She stumbles into the back alleyway because more people are pouring in by the second and there’s no way she’ll get by them. Her heels go clack clack on the concrete beneath her as she walks, giving up after a few moments in order to slip the dreaded things off and continue on her way. 

Bela doesn’t waste her breath, instead she searches frantically through several more back alleys. Finally, she throws her arms up in the air in exasperation and settles down on a sidewalk near some shops, twirling her heels in her hand, holding her head in the other. 

Yep, she’s alone and she finally realizes it. Her stupidity, her utter selfishness…

“Hey!”

Her head flies up and she gasps out her girlfriend’s name, who walks closer and takes the shoes from her hand, brushes a stray piece of hair off her face and behind her ear.   
The sounds of the city die out around her as she focuses solely on Ruby. 

“Wouldn’t be much of a girlfriend if I left you out here, now would I?”

Bela can only smile through the tears that finally break through.


	12. Come Crashing in... into My Little World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Come Crashing in… into My Little World  
> POV: Bela’s & Ruby’s  
> Song: Enjoy the Silence ~ Anberlin (It’s originally a Depeche Mode song and while the Lacuna Coil version is my favorite, this one has become far too addictive as well)  
> A/N: 400 words since there’s two povs. I’ve come to think of writing drabbles as being very therapeutic. Especially when you feel like shit and can’t find much else to do but write. Anyway, as always, hope you enjoy. And don’t worry, it’s gonna get much more exciting very very soon.

_Can’t believe I’m doing this. That I’d ever drag myself down to this level of need. This is a new low, even for me. The thing is though, that I can’t live without her. Wouldn’t ever want to in a million years…_

Ruby helps Bela off the sidewalk, starts walking in the direction away from the club and neglects to pay attention to see if Bela’s following. If she knows what’s good for her, she will. If she’s too stupid to realize it, like earlier, then oh well, the demon’s tried. 

She’s given the human one last shot, just cause she couldn’t live with herself if she didn’t. Now it’s up to Bela to make her new move on the fucked up chessboard of life. 

Ruby can’t hide her smile when she hears, actually catches the strong scent of Bela behind her, doesn’t let herself turn around until she reaches her favorite diner in town. 

Seems like Bela’s playing her game after all… and it tastes sweeter than French fries ever could at a time like this. 

_Oh, Ruby. If only you could forgive me for all the times I’ve failed you. All the things I’ve done. I can’t stop thinking about hell and even what happened before that, when I would think of never seeing you again…_

As much as she longs to feel the demon close beside her, Bela reminds herself that she still must sit at her designated spot in the booth, across from her demon. It’s a much better place to view her from anyway. 

Ruby orders herself the usual and Bela requests a small salad, something that’ll perhaps settle her roiling, emotional stomach but if not then the ginger ale should do the trick. She can’t cease staring at Ruby, remarking on how beautiful she is and it’s not just because of her vessel, Bela’s known that since the day before being dragged down into the pit. It’s purely Ruby, the mysteriously haunting demon who still has so much love in her it’s intoxicating to the human. 

Ruby glances up, her eyes flash black for a moment before she settles down to her meal, sighing softly as she munches. Bela waits. 

“We’re gonna have a serious talk soon, Bela.”

Bela nods, swallows a little but it’s for the best. 

She owes this to Ruby. And she’ll give it in the end with an open heart.


	13. A Soft Look, In Silence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: A Soft Look, In Silence  
> POV: Ruby’s  
> Song: One Love ~ Aiden (The remixed version on the Resident Evil: Extinction soundtrack)

The blade feels sure and beautiful in her hands as she slices the bark off the tree, mimicking her confident movements as if it were a demon much like herself. 

There’s something about killing demons that speaks to her, opens up what’s left of her heart and awakens her senses with an almost newfound life, like if she were human again, where sights and sounds and smells and tastes are each individually unique and beautiful, meant to savor. 

At least Bela still has that, or at least some fragment left over from before she went to hell and its demons worked lustfully on crushing those pure feelings. Ruby can only remember a portion of what it was like to be human, can merely remember how underestimated it truly was. 

She flips the ‘demon killing’ blade over in her hand, enjoying and reveling it its weight and power, a distinct entity that has saved her ass many times and will only continue to, that will make her smile and allow pride to wash through her form in waves, that will…  
If only it could bring back Bela, the only thing that she truly wants now. 

The demon sighs, watches the sunlight break through the clouds in the sky and get the bright idea to light up the silver of the blade, to let it sparkle and catch Ruby’s eyes once more yet her thoughts could never drift completely away from her human, from the distinct beauty that she is, one that could never be found elsewhere. 

Her footsteps are quiet and unsure yet Ruby still hears them, still lets her heart jump out of her chest just after it speeds up to inhumanly painful levels. Even though it’s absurd, Ruby wonders if Bela can hear her heartbeat. 

It’s time to talk.


	14. Empty Bliss, Selfishess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Empty Bliss, Selfishness  
> POV: Bela’s  
> Song: I’m So Sick ~ Flyleaf (Both versions are nice, but when writing this I was listening to the remixed version on the Resident Evil: Extinction soundtrack)

She knows Ruby loves her, she’d be stupid if she couldn’t recognize it at every second, even when Ruby is furious with her and it would be justified to refuse to show her that very love. 

And she also knows that she doesn’t deserve it, not with the way that she’s been acting, actions that if the demon didn’t know better would lead her to believe that Bela had no interest in her anymore. 

That’s not the case at all and they both know it, Bela will only have eyes for Ruby and it is that simple. Yet things have also become increasingly harder, she has always felt that if she doesn’t love herself then she couldn’t possibly love another. 

And after the pit… well, she can’t say anything about love, let alone feel it. 

Before her descent into hell there was regret tinged with the sadness at never seeing Ruby again, now there’s the ever constant belief that she is no longer that girl, incapable of those emotions. 

Sometimes she wonders if she should be back there, the only place where she ever felt like she belonged. It should be Ruby’s arms, it used to be Ruby’s arms but when that demon first began to slice into her, a name she knows she still utters in her sleep, the thought came to her that she was hell’s meat now. 

Beyond any help, unable to be loved by any demon unless its intentions were of a sick and twisted lust, a longing to tear into her and drink down her tainted yet once beautiful blood…

That’s why when the blade descends on her helplessly shocked form, Bela knows it’s no game, that this is Ruby’s last resort. 

It may be the only thing to save her from herself and memory.


	15. The Bittersweet Between My Teeth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: The Bittersweet Between My Teeth  
> POV: Ruby’s  
> Song: Young Blood ~ The Naked & Famous (The remixed version on the Underworld: Awakening soundtrack)  
> A/N: Just a little filler piece before I move on from the events of the last chapter.

Ruby remembers one very important thing; there’s nothing she wouldn’t do for Bela, no line she wouldn’t cross or mistake she would make or day she wouldn’t try to make beautiful. Her lips would never fail to kiss her, claim her. 

Bela is hers, and if she can’t save her then she truly dies after all. 

The demon remembers that time long ago, when everything was simple, or at least simpler than this, and everything was just perfect between the two of them. 

Ruby reminisces upon curling herself around the human in the early morning, as the sun permeated the thin, cheap drapes and Bela’s stomach growled hungrily. Kissing her so slow and deep the second the human dares to move an inch, climbing on top of her and brushing hair off her face, running through the tangles with her fingers carefully and occasionally tugging when she wants to see Bela’s reaction, her closed eyes scrunched together momentarily in pain and hand swatting Ruby’s away. 

She’d work her way down the human’s illustrious form, planting a kiss on every inch of skin, her tongue flicking out like a snake’s when she feels am impulse to taste Bela’s sweet scent. The human would open her hazel eyes and move onto Ruby’s vacated side, sit up and pull the demon towards her, tongue invading her mouth and sending Ruby tingling with pleasure from head to toe. 

Bela is mine. If I fail to protect her, love her, I have only myself to blame. 

Those days are gone, her mind should be clear, not slowed down by dusty memories. 

“It’s time to talk, Bela. Let me in,” she begs.

The demon doesn’t know if she’ll ever be able to reach through the muck in the human’s mind and fill it with light once more. She’s a demon and there is no light within her, at least that’s what she’s been telling herself all this time. Maybe though, just maybe she can conjure some up for her girlfriend. 

Now that would be really beautiful.


	16. Not for Real, Afraid to Feel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title: Not for Real, Afraid to Feel  
> POV: Bela’s & Ruby’s  
> Song: Default’s ‘Wasting My Time’  
> A/N: Here it is, moving on from the events of the last few chapters. Hope you enjoyed the last.

“I want you to fight, Bels.”

Her nickname, the one she once loved so much, too much. She shakes the thought away as she ducks her head just in time to avoid the sharp knife the demon holds tightly in her grasp. Maybe she should be shocked, maybe any normal person would be freaked out and long since imagined that it would never come to this. She suspected it though, a little, knew Ruby wouldn’t always put up with her bullshit. 

All she’s doing is trying to hold herself together and it’s a day long struggle. Ruby, on the other hand, just wants a second chance. She feels terrible that she can’t find the strength to give her one. 

“I don’t want to fight you, Ruby.”

“Then do something!” She screams, lunging forward again and managing to knick Bela on her right side, enough to draw blood. Bela presses her hand there, looks back up into the demon’s eyes. The human isn’t quite sure what she wants to project, she’s hit a wall here, though Ruby has just made it perfectly clear that there’s no turning back. 

Something has to change. 

“Stop acting like a goddamn zombie, Bela, and tell me something! That you hate me, that you don’t want to be with me anymore, that sometimes you just want to kill me so much you can’t stand it!”

Bela stands there, exasperated, the blood still dripping to the ground now out of mind as her hand falls to the side and she steps forward to take the demon’s hand in her own. Ruby doesn’t know what’s happening until she does it, then she takes a step back, allowing her hand to slip out of Bela’s. 

She doesn’t know if it’s a mistake or the right thing. 

“I could never stop loving you, Rubes.”

Ruby has an urge to let the blade slip to the ground. The sun is glaring high above her, even her hair feels hot as sweat drips down from her hairline, scolding the both of them for their childish antics. She drops the knife, clenches her hand, looks down at the ground.

The next time Bela takes her hand, she doesn’t make a move to hold on but refuses to back away either. 

“I’m going to try, even if it kills me.”

And this time, Ruby thinks she just might believe her. “Me too.”


	17. Broken All My Walls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Broken All My Walls  
> POV: Bela’s  
> Song: Christina Aguilera’s ‘Save Me From Myself’  
> A/N: Hope you didn’t think the events of the last chapter ended the scene, I certainly couldn’t leave it there.

Come clarity. Take me back to Ruby one and the same. 

The trek back to the car is arduous. They’re in the middle of nowhere, the two of them embedded into the depths of a forest as they plunge through it. Ruby seems to know the way out but Bela’s none too sure, her fingers brush against the rough bark of a tree as they pass.

The sun is fading, night will be falling soon. Bela shivers in her thin though stylish trench coat. Like she has the time to contemplate her own fashion sense anymore. 

Almost immediately, a large group of birds vacates the trees high above them, squawking and screaming, taking out in the direction of the wind and the human watches them go, almost trips over a careless root lying in her way. Ruby takes her hand and holds it, forsaking the option to catch herself and avoid embarrassment. She smiles but Ruby doesn’t smile back, merely stares at her blood still sluggishly oozing, dripping to the ground. 

Honestly, Bela forgot all about it. 

“When we get back to the car I’ll bandage that for you.”

Bela nods, slips her hand out of Ruby’s and presses on before her. Ruby stays at her back, surprisingly, her eyes to the rising sunset when the human glances back to make sure she’s following even though she’s positive she is. 

“I would say sorry, Bels.” She sighs, “But somehow I think it helped you.”

The incident of earlier. Even Bela’s trying to brush that from her mind, though so far, her remaining open wound is the only thing she can successfully suppress. Before anyway.

She changes the subject, “Are we lost?”

“No.” The demon speaks too soon and as pissed as the human is starting to feel about possibly being stuck in this forest through the unrelenting cold night, a small smile escapes her and she chuckles. Being here with Ruby, everything turns out not to be so bad.


	18. Her Final Encore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Her Final Encore  
> POV: Bela’s & Ruby’s  
> Song: Celestial Season’s ‘Decameron’  
> A/N: Perhaps my longest one yet. Sorry, couldn’t resist dragging it out and adding in a scene I’ve been dying to write for quite some time now. Enjoy, there’s lots more to come.

I don’t want to abandon her, yet everything is pushing me away. Just give me the will... to stay. 

Bela taps her foot at Ruby, “Fine then, we’re not lost. Though it certainly doesn’t look like an exit’s about to pop up anytime soon.” She collapses to sit on a large, upended root of a tree.

“What are you doing? We can’t stay here, Bel.”

“Well, I’m tired of walking and...”

Ruby takes her hand and pulls her up before Bela can finish her sentence. “Think I found the way out, cupcake,” and the demon, her girlfriend, drags her along. The human’s boots are caked in dirt and her arms chilled to the bone but Ruby’s touch is warm and soft, so she doesn’t struggle. Cause it’s no wonder that Ruby could kick her ass anytime.  
She keeps on walking like a good girl, and deep down inside she hungers for more. 

So much more than she has deserved as of late. It’s a shame really, her girlfriend’s rare advances were as of late shoved off, so Ruby learned to back off. Yet now, all alone with a sudden lust she must feed, she hears her calling; a soft melody that shoves her away from sanity. She pushes it down for the right time. 

Before long, her boots stumble out onto a clearing and Bela breathes a loud sigh of relief. They may not be home yet, but she can practically smell it intermingled with the leather scent of the Porsche Ruby stole off the lot to impress Bela. Well, not that she’d ever admit to that but really, a demon must love to show off to her all too human girlfriend. 

It looks a bit ridiculous out here, its shiny, one of a kind, candy apple red color glistening as the full moon comes up behind them. It sort of is spectacular too though, kinda like Ruby. 

Meanwhile, Ruby leads her to the front of the car and sits her down gently on the hood, rooting through a bag in the backseat while Bela waits impatiently, freezing her ass off.

“Here...”

“Think the bleeding stopped.”

“Doesn’t matter,” the demon’s soft fingers touch her skin and immediately a tingling sensation erupts within Bela, interrupting the feelings she was all too apt to suppress and sending her head into a state of frenzied want. The want for only one thing. She melts under Ruby’s certain touch, a soft puff of air on her arm relaxing her as she finishes up and tapes the bandage. 

And then the demon’s eyes meet hers... and she loses it completely. 

Bela doesn’t even come back to herself until Ruby says her name as she pushes her away, not a lot, just a little, enough to startle the human. They’re still on the hood of the car, only Bela is flat on her back and holding Ruby to her, attacking her with lust and greedy kisses that claim her mouth as her own and as a thing needing to be controlled and taken over for the remainder of the night. 

If she just thinks of this as making up then it’ll be justified. But really, what has crawled inside her skin and set her on fire?

“Bels... Bela...,” Ruby keeps on trying but Bela’s past talking as far as she’s concerned. She needs this, she’s back at square one, they both are actually and this is the step she needs to take, to set them moving forward again. Her arms frantically wrangle the trench coat off and she throws it aside, her hands forcefully pulling Ruby to her again.

Ruby gives in, “What are you doing? Don’t think...,” she has to pause as Bela shoves her mouth inside hers, “...that this is such a good idea right now.”

Bela rolls her eyes and caresses her neck, “Really? Cause I think it’s the best move. You still want me right?”

The demon moans when the human’s fingers touch her somewhere way too low. “Fuck, Bela. Fuck... I still want you,” and she bends down further to take care of her human, all too through with her childish antics.


	19. So Inclined to Make You Mine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: So Inclined to Make You Mine  
> POV: Bela’s & Ruby’s  
> Song: Breaking Benjamin’s ‘Shallow Bay’  
> A/N: This is set seven months from the previous chapter. I will further explain this chapter in the next few chapters, so even though this may have seemed like an ending to Sinful Obsessions, it’s not because I have much more planned for the two. Hope you’re still enjoying.

“Sometimes... sometimes I really want to do bad things. I used to feel no remorse, no sympathy, nothing that would hold me back. Now, meeting her, being with her, that’s all I seem to feel, experiencing her humanity gives me humanity. She lets me see how beautiful the world can really be. I don’t take that for granted, I know better than to give into who I am. It isn’t an option anymore.”

The occupants of the crooked circle all clap, Ruby smooths down her hair in slight nervousness, though she definitely has improved since the last time she came here. She smiles a little, feeling much better since she’s gotten all that out of her muddled head and off her crushed chest. 

It really feels like she has a heart now. 

The moment doesn’t last though, as soon as the applause from the others who are not even near to as fucked up as she is ends, she gains an insane craving for the deep fried crack that is just as real and worrisome and substantial as giving into her true self was before Bela forced her to attend this class. 

“How’d it go?” Bela asks her as she meets up with her in the lobby of the hotel her last meeting was in. Ruby slips her hand in hers as they exit the building and walk down the street towards the diner nearby. 

“Good, I can honestly say I won’t be going back to that hellhole anymore.”

Bela gives her one of her looks. 

“What? I’m serious, Bels. I feel better than I used to, I can more easily control it now.”

Her girlfriend smiles, “See, I told you AA would be great for your mindset. Wanna go get some chow now?”

Visions of French fries start dancing in her head. “I thought you’d never ask.”

They walk down the street, hand in hand, sharing smiles and happiness and much more than anyone could suspect. They are almost one entity sometimes, melded into each other’s hearts and heads. 

Bela smiles, now all she has to do is fix herself up a little. Shouldn’t be so hard... right?


	20. You're in My Blood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: You’re in My Blood  
> POV: Ruby’s  
> Song: Joni Mitchell’s ‘A Case of You’

Ruby grimaces as the scalding hot water hits her back. She closes her eyes, but not before she quietly watches her blood spiral achingly slowly down the drain. Bela isn’t back yet, hopefully she can get this done before...

The door opens. Said girlfriend crosses her arms. “And what happened here?”

Ruby pulls back the curtain a little more and smiles a tiny bit sheepishly. Yes, demons are capable of this. Or at least she is anyway. “Just had a run in with an annoying human who thought it would be fun to play ‘how far can I shoot my nifty gun’. Don’t worry though, kicked his ass to kingdom come.”

Bela shakes her head, Ruby still doesn’t think she’s seen the blood yet. The look of expectation is thick on her face, not that the demon should find that surprising in any way. 

“It’s been two days, Bel. Don’t expect me to stay out of trouble for that long.” It’s meant to be a joke but the look on her girlfriend’s face makes it anything but. 

Great. Just great. We’re supposed to be focusing solely on Bela, on her own problems and fixing her and now we have to deal with me getting shot. 

“Someone actually shot you?” Bela says in shock, instantly stepping into the shower and horror playing out on her face at the moment she sees the blood that just isn’t draining fast enough.

“It’s nothing, forget it...”

“How can you tell me to push it aside? If someone hurts my bloody girlfriend they better well bet I’m gonna get pissed, enough to do something about it.”

“If the person who’s planning to enact vengeance happens to find the perpetrator, that is.”

Bela glares at her. Ruby goes back to staring down at her feet, trying to ignore all the blood but wanting it off of her nonetheless, then she shuts her eyes as Bela’s hand flits to her shoulder. “You’re gonna need someone to stitch that up.” And by someone she means her, of course. Putting the human in this position was not on Ruby’s list of things to do today. 

“And I’m fully prepared to take on the challenge,” Ruby retorts. “Not like I haven’t done this before.”

“Quit with the snark,” Bela snaps, “and just let me take care of you. It’s my job.”

Ruby can’t help but smile at that. Bels just looks so fucking gorgeous under the water, her hair hovering in front of her vivacious hazel eyes and sticking to her irresistible neck. The demon moves to strip off her clothes, if she’s in here already, they might as well make it worthwhile. 

“What are you doing?”

“Showing you how much you mean to me.”

Bela pulls her shirt up over her head, kisses and caresses Ruby, careful not to touch the bullet wound on the back of her shoulder. “Uh, Rubes? It’s out right? The bullet?”

“You bet, sugar cakes.”

And then her lips suddenly feel like they could never stop kissing her prize.


End file.
